Happy Freaking Thanksgiving...

well, once again, just having a smooth holiday is not in the cards for beansaver. i had my 3 month scan on monday and my follow up appt. tues. (today). my scan showed that the lesions on my liver were pretty much gone...well, they at least weren't showing up on the scan now, but i have so much fluid built up that it was hard to tell what was going on everywhere else in my torso. the other thing that we could tell definitely was that i have built up more fluid behind my left lung...not IN my lung, but behind it so that is putting pressure on my lungs and the fluid that is elsewhere in my torso/belly is putting pressure on everything else. soooooo, we decided to make an appointment for me to be drained tomorrow (wed.) the day before Thanksgiving. ok..fine...no problem, unstuff me the day before i want to stuff my face with turkey. well, then they took my blood and ran my labs the way they always do every 3 weeks. last time my potassium and calcium and electrolytes were down. this time they were all fine, but my magnesium was down. so, they had to call in a last minute prescription for me to take 3 magnesium pills tonight and then i have to go in to the infusion unit tomorrow at 10:30 to get an IV dose of magnesium before my appointment to be drained at 1:30. i also have to have blood drawn again before i go to be poked and drained. :( another full day at the doctors/hospital. all of that is after today when i had to be poked twice already to get my labs drawn because the chick blew my vein the first time. wawawa.

i should be happy about my scan. i should be thankful that the cancer is not growing like crazy since that is typically what this type of RCC does. it is very aggressive and fast growing, so the fact that it did not get any bigger for this scan is progress. i, however, am a perfectionist and want to excel at everything and had gotten used to receiving great news with every scan. i got used to "exceeding expectations" and being my drs. favorite case, the topic of conversation during the Monday conferences with all the other doctors. the almost unheard of "50% reduction" being the norm for me....that's what i wanted to hear again!!! yes i am spoiled. i admit it. this time, i will have to settle for the "holding steady with slight progress". the most frustrating thing is that there isn't anything i can do to change it. i can't make the meds work better. i can't make the cancer die faster. i can't make the fluid stop building. i am at the mercy of my body and chemicals and drugs that i can barely pronounce.

at the very least, i will have a belly that is drained of fluid so that i can fill it up with yummy Thanksgiving treats with my family. yeah to being able to eat more than a cup of anything at a time...more room in the tummy means more turkey and all the fixin's for me! yippie!

so, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers team beansaver....have a Happy Freaking Thanksgiving.

steady as i go....

i've been back on the sutent for almost two weeks. it will be two weeks on monday actually. same ole side effects. nothing new....super tired. the week of thanksgiving i have my 3 month scans and follow up appointment to find out the latest results....whether the sutent is still working. hopefully i will hear good news and be able to have a good thanksgiving holiday.

on a separate note, i did find out that i was approved for social security benefits. sure doesn't pay for much, but its something and beggars can't be choosers right! also found out the my disability payments have been approved until the year 2041! w00t! that was even better news! thank goodness for great company benefits.

cross your fingers, toes, legs, arms...you know, all the usual things to cross the week of thanksgiving team beansaver!