Whatchu talkin bout Willis?!

so, in my search for people like me out there...30 somethings that have been diagnosed with kidney cancer, the pickin's are slim. many personal blogs are about random drama in people's lives that few other people in this world give a rat's a$$ about...this one will probably be no different. although the main subject will be my cancer, i'm sure i will go off on random tangents about anything from mixed emotions to who cut me off on the highway today. im not an english major...i wont capitalize or punctuate correctly, i will change tenses and i will speak like a g33k from time to time. basically i will be me...because i can hide behind my computer screen and its great!

ps...i will also jump around...my mind is all over the place all the time...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Resistance is futile

i am now officially a member of the Borg Collective. the tube is in and we have been draining 1ltr./day for a little over a week or maybe 2 weeks? i dunno. anyway. i am pretty much empty from what we can tell and am now just draining and checking the bandage 1x/week. the convenience is nice. drain when i feel like it....i have a nurse the comes to my house once or twice a week depending on my needs. either he will do the drain, or he will train anyone i want to be able to do it. my mom and i have been trained to do it...i haven't done it on my own yet because of the angle....it's kind of hard to get through the last step by myself. morphine is still my friend so far. i am on these continuous release patches that i have to change every other day. i am also taking a short acting version for when that just isn't enough. i'm still not taking very much in the way of pain meds. dr. dooms nurse laughed at me when she saw how much the Rx for the morphine patch was....she said "whoa, don't o/d or anything! hehehe" at the time i was on the lowest possible dose, i am switching to the second lowest and my have to go up from there....i don't know. its one big guessing game of trying to manage the pain. some days are fine, some days are terrible. stress has an effect on how my meds work, so i need to try to tone down the stress i think.

i am extremely weak...can barely make it up the stairs without losing my breath. its terrible. my left lung is pretty full (well, the space between my lung and the sack that holds my lung) and i have a thora tomorrow that will hopefully bring some relief. morphine and lack of stamina also cause trouble breathing and since i've got all 3 going on....i figured that it was time to drain the poor lung. i've only had that done 2 times. the first time hurt terribly for several days, the second time it was like i'd been doing it for years. so, cross your fingers that tomorrow is like the second one i had. please be a nice thora!

sorry i haven't written a post in a while. its been rough going. you can pretty much assume that if i am not writing posts than i am in no shape to even get on the computer. unless i have mentioned a vacation or something.

oh yeah, during this "figure out the pain meds" and "get a Borg tube in my tummy" drama....i have managed to re-injure my pirafomis in my left leg and injure the right one just 1 week later. all that going on sure makes it hard to figure out your stable med plan. :(

hope is just around the corner....i can feel it. it's my turn for some good luck...MY TURN!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's YOUR TURN for sure! I've been thinking about you so much lately. I'm glad you felt good enough to update your blog today. Wuv you.
Aunt Deb

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you are back on the computer! oh what a life without a computer...*shivers

Inspector #12

BeanSaverMom said...

Borg? You brought back happy memories of watching Star Trek: Next Generation together. My geekness rubbed off on you in spite of your resistance. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah, its Leah S. from OMHS. I just discovered your blog and your fight. Please hang in there!! I am now doing research at MUSC and my area of research is kidney cell death of all things. I will be pulling for you.

Anonymous said...

Bear, it's great to have you back blogging! I can just picture you up on a big stage with a fancy cape with a kidney bean on the back of course singing, "It's My Turn!" And, I have to agree, it IS your turn for good news! You are a stronger person than anyone I know. You are an inspiration and a dear friend and I miss you a lot! Keep up the fight - you WILL win!

Wondertart

Bree said...

hey bear - sorry to hear all the rough going lately. hang in there - you deserve something good coming!!
xoxo

onesillymama said...

Good golly... what a lot to go through. I've been checking your blog periodically for updates and have been worried - funny how you can worry about someone you've never met. I can only imagine how much stress you feel, so keeping it under control to help your pain meds is not easy.

It is absolutely Your Turn for some good luck - I am sending lots of positive vibes your way.